Constantly staying in your friend’s space after you have turned them
down may be a little hard on them, and even on both of you
When
one party in a platonic relationship develops feelings for the other
and proceeds to express these feelings, it often ends poorly if their
feelings are not reciprocated.
Turning proposals
from friends down can result lead to feelings of discomfort and
awkwardness. Is it possible to reject someone’s proposal, especially if
that person is a friend, without hurting them?
It's
much easier if the person you're turning down is merely an acquaintance
or someone you've only known for a short time. Here are ways you can
turn down a friend’s proposal without hurting their feelings.
- Be sure of what you want
This
is the most important step. Do you find them not attractive at all?
What exactly are your reasons for not accepting? Will any of these
reasons change in the near future? Before you talk to them, you should
have a very clear idea about your position including all 'why's and 'why
not's.
- Be honesty
One
of the best ways to deal with someone who is clearly interested in you
as a lover when you are not; is to let them know promptly rather than
string them along for years as they will be rewarded with a yes if they
wait for you.
Honesty does not mean you have to be
brutal; you can turn people down without saying “What?! I can’t imagine
dating you; I don’t like you at all.”
You can explain to them how much you treasure their friendship but aren’t currently ready for a relationship with them.
- Don’t laugh in their faces
You
will not be treating your friend’s proposal with the needed sensitivity
if you handle it like a mere joke. It is understandable that the idea
of dating someone you have zero attractions to can be laughable, but if
those people are close friends you don’t have to rebuff their overtures
by laughing in their face.
- Distance yourself
Constantly
staying in your friend’s space after you have turned them down may be a
little hard on them, and even on both of you. Being friend-zoned is
hard on some people, so suggest that you take some time apart to adjust
to the change.
Don’t insist on being friends if
they don’t want to be friends. Eventually, they may come around, or they
may not. But whatever be the case, let them deal with it as they see
best
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